I think I've become really exacting about the kind of stuff I'll post on here, like I expect it to hold up to some personal standard that doesn't really have any guidelines. Hesaidquote is kind of about that; it has some more rigid guidelines that turn each post into a calculated take on whatever topic, as opposed to here where I just futz around and vomit verbiage pretending that people actually enjoy reading it. In fact I find that a lot of material on here is like some kind of purgatory for thoughts that irritate me so much I have to write them down, and it's often so lazy in terms of creativity and thought that it's basically the equivalent of HST typing out other people's books on his Selectric. That's a good example actually - I noticed the last time I used that word that I'd mentioned it twice more pretty recently and that bothered me. I think the kind of artistic sensibility that I like to imagine I share with people like Mackenzie sometimes bleeds into my view of a lot of things in my life; I'm judgmental about album art and other people's photography for example when they, for whatever reason, appear "incorrect" to me.
This kind of writing is interesting if you're focused on a specific topic and have some kind of goal in mind but I often find my own words on this blog so boring. I drone on about whatever topic with weak metaphorical explanations in disjointed paragraphs that have questionable specificity. I used to end each post with a haiku until I decided I was kind of insulting the great tradition by jumping lines and using curse words and that you can't really write haikus in any other language than Japanese... But anyway, I kind of like that sentiment. I'd say that I'll make more of an effort to include imagery but who am I kidding, I'd regress back to here anyway...
This weekend was a strange mixture of loneliness and good times with friends; I spent nearly every day with A&M, saw Wolverine, went to band practice where we wrote a great song, checked out the Skull Skates yard sale, ate at the Topanga Cafe, and beat most of MGS3 on normal... But last year just like this year my family was out of town and I came home every night to a house that was too big to be my space alone. While I'm whinging, my ankle is almost healed but I probably won't be skating for another three months even with lots of attention from the physiotherapist of questionable credentials who was constantly chewing gum and hooked up electrical suction cups to my foot.
Maybe it's that I don't often do much that is really noteworthy that hobbles my ability to come up with moments I feel are worth writing about. Really, who gives a fuck that I bought a slurpee (even though I didn't because I can't carry them without somebody to help me). Hmm, let's see what else - I wasted hours of my life arguing pointlessly with people I don't know very well over a largely irrelevant topic which wound me up to the point where I had a stomach ache on my way to the job interview I had today, which by the way leads to the most worthwhile thing I've been doing lately... It looks like I'll be gainfully employed at the very boutique Apple Store downtown in Pacific Centre as well as the laid-back and locally owned Park Theatre on Cambie St. So I'll have something to do during the waking hours...
It's pathetic really, I go on Facebook sometimes and see people planning things I'm not involved in and have to remind myself that there is no malice involved and that I really live nowhere near whatever event is going on. Playing video games by yourself is cool as long as you have video games, and when you beat them all and have nothing to look forward to you might as well go out and hang out with people and actually get a real life. It's like summer is limbo where you are suspended in a constant shifting state of lethargy and labour before returning to the plane of reality for eight months of speaking to other people and drinking copious volumes of alcohol.
Anybody reading this should check out the album Decline of the West by Holy Sons... You are probably totally into indie music and therefore you will probably like it a lot more than any of the sweaty armpit grumpy metal bands I'd otherwise be tooting the horn of.
I wrote a pretty off-the-cuff op-ed thing for the summer edition of the Martlet about the election, and I haven't heard back so I doubt it'll be published but either way it'll probably end up here too. This blog is so often a catalogue of disappointment that it seems like it'll fit right in. Christ I am a bucket of sunshine this morning... I have to turn off the Godspeed You! and start grooving on something posi.
Lost for months at sea, craving human contact... Come in Cape Canaveral...
