Poettree

so the things i leave behind sit here in an attic waiting for someone to touch them with a magic spark in which case beautiful things will result from this intermission please return to your seats in english class sometimes they talk calling it a train of thought but its less like a train and more like a river lake flowing into the ocean where all the fish live harmoniously there is an instrument called a harmonium in napoleon dynamite he walks in a brown suit while it plays a song by the penguin cafe orchestra and i remember it from my childhood like i remember the beatles and sting and deep purple. i watch my friends fight with their parents and realize what/how much i take for granted do we deserve the earth? because thoughts linger and when i thought of that (see its a process) i thought of "thoughts vault, songs have been written" which is lyrics from Aesop Rock and thats the first time i used real capitals so i will stop now because the paradigm must keep itself secure in the knowledge that it is foreverlasting.

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It is like you are locked behind a wall in which there are many keyholes and strewn around me are pathways which i may or may not be sure they lead to mystical places all of which contain keys.
how am i to know these things that lead me to the correct node structure of keyfinding in order to unlock your neural pathways and give me total root user access to your emotions and knowledge?
it is a guess and test question in which i will keep trying integers until one source finally fits and hopefully i can correlate it with other possible paths in order to build essential parts of my psyche!
however my chances are not endless i must select carefully lest you become nervous and bail out like a pilot when i am only 10 feet above the cold ground of loneliness like so many other have.
my trust in you should no longer be a gamble and when i say you i mean all those who have taken my heart and soul and perhaps unwittingly toyed with it like a cat with a ball of pastabrittle yarn.
i wish that sometimes i could pick better when to let the metaphysical cats play with my fragile yarn ball so i can minimize self-esteem damaging backtrack clauses within my headspace!
everyday someone new it seems comes along with the ablility to comprehend my quirks or maybe just the possiblity of that existence but i search for you anyway and risk my mind and soul on you...
eventually i worry that the number of possible integers will spiral out of control as if dividing by zero on a calculator with hope installed and the limit to possible decimals removed in the same of science!
the more that my subconcious sprouts forth repressed knowledge i have been poring over i seem to gain insight into my steller underbody and my writing i hope now resembles nonchalant nonsense
some people can create words with just the flow that spawns from the abcesses of their minds and i disgust myself on occasion with the corrupted fruit that my mental tree has the power to bear
WILL SOMEONE GIVE ME THE FUCKING ACCESS CODE SO I DON'T STUMBLE IN THE ENDLESS DARK FOR LONGER THAN LONG?

life can be complicated but things that aren't challenging arent worth doing anyway therefore (three dot sign) if my life was too easy i would be more inclined to do bad things to it.